I Lived Like a Billionaire for a Week

Kurtis’s house is much more stylish than I imagined. I guess I forgot that he lives with another human being and is an adult man with money. I just assumed he lived in a mostly empty flat with a gamer chair and a mattress on the floor.

My husband is a personal trainer and he has explained the physiological benefits of going from really cold to really hot (ice bath then sauna and repeat) but I cannot stress enough how little I care about that because cold showers are Evil Incarnate.

As a certified dream interpreter, I can confidently say all of the dreams Kurtis described at 12:00 mean the exact same thing. Those dreams mean he was sleeping.

This dudes morning routine is almost exactly what I had to do everyday when I was in the psych ward.

the crossover I never needed: kurtis and my boss (the narrator of the fucking morning routine video) 💀😭 I hate it here

Kurtis progressively looking more like an 80s Dad is honestly one of the greatest things I’ve watched for the past year.

Billionaires: "Just work harder" The Working Class they've stepped on to get higher: *literally working harder than any of them have in their entire lives*

Not gonna lie, a lot of this advice is exactly what I needed to hear to improve my life. Not to become wealthy or a billionaire, but just to improve my quality of life. But the fact that these people give you these tips with the promise of wealth and success just by doing them is just a scam

I'm a vivid dreamer so I love hearing the weird/cool/crazy shit other people do in their dreams. Kurtis's dreams are short and simple but still great lol

I love how "and they look out for the little guy" is an actual punchline which doesn't need any explaining in order for us to know it's sarcasm

i'm standing up for jeff bezos! if you're gonna shame his weird tiny eye, you also have to shame his weirdly turtley face. you can't pick and choose what you shame on a person, kurtis, that's insensitive. you gotta shame the whole package.

I recently learned that Bill Gates earns so much money per second that if he dropped a hundred dollar bill it literally would not be worth his time to pick it up

One of the things that I hate about the billionaire advice on how to go about the morning is that they are so dead serious about it. There's this tone of, "I've cracked the code of life, and that's why I have more money than I'll ever be able to spend in a lifetime -- because I get up in the morning and take some breaths while I push my tongue up and down like a real man; analyze the dreams that are clearly trying to tell me something important; take a cold shower and let the icy cold water run over my balls because it's the only thing that makes me feel truly alive; hop down the stairs like a newborn deer because a guru that I work with told me that it would help me connect to my inner child and that's important for optimal brain function in the morning hours; make a big brain smoothie and chug it so I get a brain freeze that I then melt with my brain's hard work as I journal about my goals, ambitions, and the feelings I'm gonna select from the emotion vending machine that I had installed into my prefrontal cortex, etc.".

"we're not human doings, we're human beings" - That is straight out of The Simpsons. S5E07 Bart's Inner Child.

I think the big question we are all asking and not just me, when is Kutis going full hairless. Full body shave and wax. Smoother then a dolphin. I think that’s what everyone is asking.

When Kurtis opens his mouth, you just know that he's gonna say something in his video !

Literally all the shit that this 'billionare' does in the morning screams I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. Literally. It's called at Billionaire's routine because they don't have to work. So glad Kurtis is roasting this It's ridiculous!

I am not at all a spiritual person or anything, but when I started meditating I really loved it. It really helps my anxiety and only feels a little weird for the first day or two.

14:22 Mediation is a skill that you practice, I used to get bored in the 3 min mark then after a while I was able to meditate for 10 minutes. Then I got lazy and stopped meditating and now I reach 6-7 minutes. Honestly meditating is really helpful, you don't have to do like 20-30mins even 5mins to calm down your nerves, reset your focus and allow you to re-prioritize your goals is very useful. Especially for a person with ADHD

"That's the lie that they pedal to keep the system working in their favour." Thank you, I've been trying to find a good way to word this. You nailed it!

Kurtis is honestly the only man with a mullet that i would trust holding my drink at a bar. Also, that hair is GORGEOUS

my favorite thing about this is that the rich dude sounds like he's making this up entirely on the spot. "the next things I do is .... uh...um...i make... a brain smoothie?"

They make the barrier for entry look like it's not just being morally corrupt, but rather highly disciplined. It's a façade.

the booing at "we're not human doings we're human beings" despite it 100% being something kurtis would say is taking me out

The face he made “breathing” sent me into a fit of laughter every time 💀

kurtis finding out that meditating is actually nice is so funny to me

I love that the morning routine also has you guzzling down 3 different drinks with no solid food to be had, because billionaires get enough nutrients from all that alpha breathing

the most baffling thing about this routine is that yeah they're all nice sentiment, but also no one with a 9-5 job who's actively in the working class has the time to do any of it. as Kurtis said, this just proves billionaires have time to goof off in the morning. also, it was kinda funny to see Kurtis expose his caffeine addiction to us with the tea thing, lol.

the amount of brain stuff this guy does, makes you think billionaires are zombies

The tea you drank while writing in your journal has passion flower and kava. I use that tea with like 4 bags per cup when I am in places that have sever anti-drug laws. I don't drink, and am from Ca, but travel all over the world. That tea is my favorite option to get that sleepy/zoned out feeling when I am in Dubai or Singapore. It could have been making you even more tired. Expert tip though, if you wanna get high/low off passion flower and kava they totally work in larger amounts (ike 4-6 teabags per cup) or just get the actual plants in a dried form and brew the tea. Kava even makes your tongue and throat numb.

as someone who works at a smoothie shop, i can say without a doubt that people order that exact smoothie and worse everyday

The science of this guy’s smoothie making process is just like me at 6 years old when I would put flowers and shit in my dog’s food so that my dog would smell nice

Although this video is hilarious, I think Kurtis' last point about doing what works for you is the best thing to take away from it, because I find morning routines like this actually do make me feel good, but others might do better w a minimalist morning routine, and that's fine. I appreciate how Kurtis finds a place to input an actual pearl of wisdom amongst the humor. And how he roasts *everyone*

Kurtis is one of those BRvidrs where I will genuinely give a wholehearted laugh throughout the ENTIRE video

Me and my husband are absolutely obsessed with your content ! You’re very relatable and we love that you don’t try to portray a false image of yourself! The humour is fucking top tier, god bless. We hope you and your family are safe and well for a lifetime !

Kurtis wearing a shirt that says be nice while body shaming billionaires Is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

Will definitely be trying the second morning routine, sounds like it gets your body up and working!

Kurtis should now do his *OWN* morning routine, the one he made in this video!

Will definitely be trying the second morning routine, sounds like it gets your body up and working!

No matter how many times I watch this I still lose my shit over Kurtis's parody routine at the end.

Kurtis doesn't have to tell jokes anymore. He could just alpha breathe at the camera for 10 minutes and I'd piss myself laughing thanks

15:15 Cold showers are super relaxing. For me initially before I started cold showers I would stay like 30mins to an hour every time I take a bath, I would take so long because I would get lost in my thoughts. It got to the point where I would tell my family "hey, I'll help you out with that thing after I take this short shower" and they would reply "nevermind, I need help now not in an hour" and just like when the MacDonald's clerk started to recognize and give me "the usual" I knew it was time for change. So I started doing cold showers, immediately I could see the benefits instead of taking like an hour I would finish in 3 mins because "f*ck this, god it's painful". A problem started to arise though, I would dread taking a bath instead of taking a bath for 30mins I would spend about 30mins in the bath trying to psyche myself up to enter the bath. So I started to modify the cold shower a bit. I would have warm water at the start and then when I am already in the shower I would drop the temp and end it with a cold rinse. Suddenly it was starting to click and my body was able to adjust to the cold and gradually improve. I think to get the best benefit out of cold showers you need to truly understand them, cold showers wake up the body and relax muscles. A cold shower after an intensive exercise is bliss. People also need to stop villainizing hot showers, hot showers make the body sleepy and similarly relax muscles they're best before bed. You can also mix and match showers within one bath, 1 minute very hot, 1 minute very cold there's alot of variations. Most importantly cold showers finally allowed my lizard body to adjust to the cold. My country's temperature casually goes to 70C (160F for the freedom warriors) so I was fully adjusted to the hot temperature, but when the temperature drops to 5C (40F) I would act like a lil-bitch. Now cold showers have allowed me to evolve to be able to resist scalding heat and freezing cold, I am invincible now

After he took his first sip of the smoothie, he actually looked like he was about to cry. 🤣

Kurtis's hand writing looks just like I would imagine.

This is actually kinda my morning routine rn accept I'm not a billionaire, I'm severely depressed and unemployed...

This morning routine is close to impossible for anyone who’s actually working hard and doesn’t have four hours to mediate, journal, read, and consume a variety of drinks

As a new viewer (I literally just found you today) this type of video suits your sense of humour and vibe really well so I'd absolutely love to see more :)

Why was kurtis so funny this video literally his funniest video to date

4:40 your dream means you’re too scared of death and you think about it so much you kinda feel like it’s unhealthy and the stress from all that overthinking is what might shorten your life

Gotta say, making your bed, drinking water, meditating, and reading are pretty good things to "buy"

After doing Kurtis's routine, I entered a deep coma in which I became a billionaire. Thanks Kurtis!

Truly love you Curtis thanks for exploiting these nut cases that just don't want to admit their privilege

Great vid Kurtis, always fun and uplifting to view your creative, humorous and engaging videos especially during these trying times. That in of itself is priceless.

"We're not human doings, we're human BEings" The cringe was so strong I exclaimed loudly into my empty, cold and lifeless apartment. I'm definitely lonely and definitely not a billionaire!

The billionaire body shaming jokes at the beginning had me literally crying the delivery was outstanding

finally someone has the balls to call out billionaires for being big baby losers

Not kurtis saying that 2022 was going to be worst 🇺🇦 #standingwithUkraine

I love how billionaires genuinely convince their mindless followers that just taking the bare minimum care of yourself as a human being will get you to their status

"were not human doings we're human beings" proceeds to tell everyone he sees to stay on the grind and never rest

I am ashamed to admit how close your “real” billionaire morning routine resembles my actual morning routine. 😅

Hearing kurtis call billionaires “losers” fed something deep in me that I didn’t know I needed

" You're allowed to body shame a billionaire " needs to be on a t-shirt

I love the shower scenes XD It was like watching a cat being put in a shower, total disappointment and agony lol

That morning routine at the end had me laughing so hard I almost had an asthma attack

Kurtis: *pours a tablespoon of water* Me: Oh, honey…

I’m just dying at the fact that while Kurtis is bullying these billionaires, the only part of his shirt you can see is: “Please Be Nice”

The alpha breathing seems like a version of lion breath (I think it's translated as that) in yoga. It's actually really useful during difficult poses since it takes the focus off your screaming muscles

The only thing I can vouch for is the cold shower thing, I don't do it every time but it does help me calm down when I'm particularly anxious.

21:10 honestly i love writing down my dreams. i do them as detailed as i can. i can get nice story ideas, art ideas, or memories from them. and sometimes i can look at them and remember how i was feeling/what was going through my head around the time i was having those dreams.

Adam Ragusea said it best when he said its easy for millionaires to work hard because one extra hour is hundreds of dollars, whereas someone in a convenience store can stand for an extra hour on end for 10 bucks

There is no fucking way his "brain tea" isn't some mushroom micro-dosing. You know how socially acceptable it is to do drugs when you're rich!

Kurtis is the only youtuber who makes me genuinely laugh out loud, other youtubers barely make me do the nose exhale laugh

Well, you were right. This year sure is different. 🌻

There are very few things that make me laugh out loud, let alone laugh during the whole video. Well done, well done. 😂

6:26 this guy's onto something i breathed along (like an alpha) and this was the first time i've burst out laughing in ages

Imagine trying to do all this when you have an office job with a 45 minute commute and/or kids that you have to feed and take to school every day...

I would actually love to see Kurtis try out different morning routines and review them!

11:53 LMFAO my bf regularly exclaims this at our pup too at random moments, in the style of Cedric Diggory’s father as well, how is this a thing?! 🤣

Love how Kurtis is having service-worker nightmares years after leaving

The intro was everything. Roasting billionaires and their questionable taste is very enjoyable. Very tired of seeing those guys portrayed as role models by buisness journalists lmao. Most of them are straight up musky.

Fun fact: 've started watching this video 3 times this week and fallen asleep all three times. I don't know how it ends! Is it a secret cure to insomnia?

Someone PLEASE actually follow Kurtis’s recommended morning routine…chug that mountain dew cosmic brownie smoothie

the pain and sadness on his face when he drank that smoothie....poor Kurtis 😂

Hearing kurtis recall his dreams was honestly the best part of the entire video

love that kurtis was so immediately ruined by this routine that he tried to put an edge piece in the center of the jigsaw puzzle on day one

I’m watching this while hungover at the gym thank you Kurtis for this amazing entertainment to get me through this gym sesh

I like thinking about my dreams, but I have a really interesting dream system. It's like I go to the same alternate dimension every time. Always the same location I revisit in different dreams with different things happening. Pretty fucking dope. I've been through the nuclear apocalypse and then the zombie apocalypse after, it was a lot of fun tbh. I watched the flesh melt off my bones when the blast hit, it didn't hurt just felt funny.

Loved this format 😎 Had a great laugh ! Not gonna try any of these tho ... except maybe the breathing part, did looked like fun 😂

kurtis’ “real” billionaire routine was the funniest shit i’ve heard in a while 😂😂

Some of the stuff in the routine are actually good for your mental health, like meditation and journaling. The issue is the lie that this is what makes billionaires rich. Kurtis put it eloquently: this isn't a routine for people who want to become billionaires, this is a routine for people who are already billionaires.

i normally watch stuff on tv, so i get lazy and don't usually... get out my phone and find the video again to comment... but i wanted to say!! i loved watching ya do something different, and i'm sure i and everyone else would enjoy watching ya do more stuff like this!!

Thank you for pointing out at 8:20 that these tasks are more like uhhh all day tasks. Not to mention most of us who aren’t billionaires still have to work around a 9-5 work week 😢

MORE OF THIS KIND, YES PLEASE. LOVED IT!

Love when Kurt boy periodically uploads these documentaries-esque videos

This video made me laugh so much so many more people need your sense of humor

It's a sad fact that Kurtis is more insightful that all the adults I know out together (including myself)...It's time for sobbing into iced cream

Kurtis roasting billionaires is the thing I needed today, thank you

Seems to me that Kurtis has a lot of dreams that have to do with the airport, that could definitely mean something 👀

This video actually made me feel a lot better about myself because I struggle to have a consistent routine because of my mental health and a lot of the shit I see on social media makes me feel bad about the routines I have developed. Reminder that social media really is just social media

the feral joy he had when he finished the puzzle is foul 😭