Cursed Mario Products 

The fact that they didn't call the cereal "MariO's" is infuriating

I feel like this series is slowly going to become polygon's agenda

The voice activated Mario Telephone is by far the most interesting and dynamic piece of technology. Once again Charles Martinet knocks it out of the park. Also Super Mario Galaxy is my favorite Mario game, as well as my first video game ever.

Reminds me of all the Mario themed pinatas, party supplies, brinca brincas, and ceramic piggy banks made by the local vendors every time I visited Mexico. The ceramic Mario always looked a little off but it adds a certain level of charm and nostalgia for me. 😊

As someone who grew up with a ton of this stuff, I can honestly say the Mario Mac and Cheese slapped. I think they had a Ninja Turtles one too. The fruit snacks were good too. The characters are all from Mario Bros 2.

As someone who has seen the koala Mario multiple times, it is as intimidating as it looks. It threatens to eat your family if you don't donate

As an Australian i can confirm that Koala Mario is always waiting for me in the shadows

This is truly one of the Mario videos of all time

Loved when Mario said “it’s marioing time” and mario’d all over the place. Truly one of the moments of all time.

still can't believe they made a whole franchise based off of chris pratt

The progression from cube shaped mugs to a mug that can kill you to a warp pipe mug that is actually a mug is insane!

Your genuine enthusiasm in your videos is always really heartwarming. Keep up the good work

Dude sounds like he’s on the verge of hysterical laughter throughout the entire video

As an Australian-born Australian I can confirm the Koala Mario theory

14:49 Now i want to go to Australia with a speaker just to prank people

Finding your channel is something I will never regret.

Ain't no way I'm letting that mario shower bottle thing stare at while I'm showering 💀

You can really tell right away when companies have absolutely no idea how a character exactly looks like based on their looks shapes and colors

mario is truly one of the characters of all time

The gummy box pulling "oddly specific" characters uses box art from Super Mario Bros 2 (the weird one with shy guys and turnip throwing). All of those characters were featured in that game. So I'm thinking it was a promotional thing released alongside SMB2. Edit now that I've watched through: Favorite game: Mario Party DS is a super fun and often overlooked game whose singleplayer campaign has gotten me through two separate longer-term power outages. Favorite product: I had an LED light of one of Racoon Mario's sprites. Loved it since SMB3 on the GBA was my first game. Unfortunately during college moving I forgot I'd left batteries in it so it's a bit corroded now. :/

I am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can't believe how magical it was 0:03. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 0:0 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can't forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can't be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I've come across in my life, and I'm definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. this is an absolute masterpiece, I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the bacon go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. it absolutely moved my soul, and I don't think I can ever be the same. this bacon has changed my entire mental state, I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. i have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on, gotta move on, as the song says. the bacon is so inspirational, it shares it vast wisdom with all of us, and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. we are all children on bacon. hail bacon. hail bacon. The spinning bacon, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a bacon do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the bacon spins, showing its lightly salt covered tan skin. I can hear the crunch just from here, and so as the beautiful sound of the bacon scraping the dark, smooth velvet floor. The flavor, music and everything can be heard, tasted, seen and felt from a screen. You can really hear the breaths between the music artist, empathizing her love for this rotating bacon. Truly what I call modern art. This was the most legendary performance by any piece of bacon I have ever watched. The acting was top tier and very life changing. This is one of the greatest work from a piece of bacon I have ever seen especially on 57:42 .I am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can't believe how magical it was at 0:02. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can't forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can't be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I've come across in my life, and I'm definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. this is an absolute masterpiece,

Polygon please PLEASE keep using Nene's 144p mp4 of her saying "Yayy" it brings JOY to me seeing that little goofy goober say her iconic line!

I actually ate that cereal before! I visited my local Target and I barely saw them there. As I ate the cereal, I thought to myself, "So this is what it's like to be a kid and eat cereal in the 80's, I guess." I used to love sugary cereals from a daycare center I was always dropped off at as a kid and I just had to get one of the Mario cereals before they were no longer sold.

Every time he makes one of these videos I just like to imagine some Mario fanatic who somehow owns all of these products and how they might decorate their house with all of them.

excited for the next cursed products video where polygon donut rates the most concerning items known to man

On "Wake up: it's time to leave dream land!": The sound of Mario's voice was not defined as the high pitched squeaky thing we know today until Mario 64 in 1996. If you look at the Mario cartoons that were made at the time that alarm clock was released, that voice was the voice of Mario at the time. He was an Italian-American plumber from Brooklyn. Also, "dream land" is probably a reference to Kirby's Dream Land.

Being able to call burger king by asking Mario is something I would never get in my life even if I wanted it

Honestly, this videos are some of the on youtube that just brighten up my day when watching them, just the pure love for what is going on really warms my heart. Keep up the good work!

Being a Nintendo kid, the fact I actually had some of these products was a nostalgia hit everytime they were mentioned-

These cursed products videos are how I cope with how cursed life is. 12/10

the old mcdonald's mario ball brought back so much nostalgia because it was passed down from family dog to family dog like an heirloom for them to play with.

Man seeing those toys really reminds me of how creative kids meal toys were

Is it bad that I laughed the whole video at his friggin hilarious humor and not the products? 🤣💀

12:20 Fun Fact: these used to play sounds if you pressed either of their noses or emblems. It was most likely 1-1 that it played, but I somewhat remember a voiceline? It gets worse when you break the voicebox and it just spazzes out when you try to press it

imagine mario, before he got thrusted into the mushroom kingdom, walking into a customer's house to fix their sink or something, and then he sees that the customer's house is filled with cursed mario merch

I had so many Mario toys, games, and items back when I was a kid. It's good to see that some of them were featured in the video. If one of those items appeared on screen I said to myself "Hey, I had that!". Well done with the video man. I hope you talk about transparent technology next!

we all can agree that his voice never gets old

Merchandise for Mario- and everything else- has become so watered down and safe over the years. Nobody makes things like the Spaghetti-os or shampoo anymore.

Love how much fun u seem to be having doing these videos man!

watching these videos feels like being a frog being cooked by my slowly warming pool of water

I just found your channel and I gotta say, everything about your videos just scratches my brain in the best way possible.❤

Wait, the koala Mario is real? All this time, I thought it was some sort of bootleg or something.

14:39 as an Australian, I can confirm I have lost my family to the Mario koala

If they just gave a regular koala statue a mario hat and mustache and maybe some overalls, it actually would've been really cute.

Ah, yes. A wonderful day for cursed Mario items.

About the koalas, that's actually really neat! Here in Minnesota we have a similar thing but with seals that are less character themed and more painted.

Keep up the cursed product videos I love these!

My entire immune system when I stub my toe: 13:30

Another fun and wacky video! I would love if you covered cursed kirby products because he's so skunkly! 😀

The Mario koala is very cursed, and I love taking pictures with it to send to my online friends since I'm close by to it. Also, the way you pronounced Coolangatta, I died on the inside it was so bad I got caught off guard.

As an Australian, I can clarify that Koala Mario's are real.

So glad I found this channel, I’m addicted. It sounds like you’re smiling when you talk and you’re so energetic, I always cheer up when I stick one of your vids on. I also started saying scrunkly (sp?) about cute things. Also, with your blindbags, you might just be right with your scam idea cause sometimes you can tell the content of a blind bag (by feel or by the barcode) so the seller might have picked out the whole set and sold off the doubles. Guessing boo was a common.

This series is the highlight of my year ❤

Fun Fact: Dreamland is the main place in Super Mario Bros 2 in the american version. It's because mario wakes up from the dream after defeating Wart. So it's considered as a "DreamLand".

Y'know, the Mario Ball can only make you to remember a certain memory back when you're 12 and a boy throws an Italian plumber between your legs inside a bouncy castle during some kid's party as your doing nothing, but crying in a corner...

I collected a lot of the candy tins and I have quite a few, including a cool 8-bit Link one I found about a year ago. The candy inside is pretty good. The best ones are the Bullet Bill candy and the Link candy.

I love your videos, they’re just too fun with they way you edit them and all the different items you find. I can’t wait for the next cursed products! I hope the next ones are gonna be Pikachu or Kirby products

My college town had several sculptures shaped like Garfield and painted as different themes. I really wish one had been Mario like the koala.

Such an amazing BRvid channel, a while back I would watch the videos you would make about your discord server, those were my fav and some of the best editing I could see at the time. I remember when you had less than 60k, and it’s amazing to see your editing style, voice, and personality on camera change. You’ve gotten so far and your channel has grown so much. Although you probably won’t see this, I just hope you become famous one day! 💖

What's just as cursed is the amount of cursed toys there is

I love the mario kart hotwheels. They just fit so well. I feel like nintendo have been taking big steps in partnerships lately.

The Sailor Moon koala statue looks actually good, why didn’t they do something like that with Mario? Lol

I feel like I can find a majority of the products you show in these videos at a Goodwill. I need that Mushroom Waffle Maker!

13:44 Those are based on the animated series, so they won't look like the original, but for the series, they are very accurate. And Luigi at 5:51 is based on the old animated movie.

These are definitely some of the Mario's of all time

for the super mario cereal, it took me a while to notice but I think the red marshmallow is supposed to be Mario’s hat. it seemed a bit funky at first but as i looked at it more I realized that shape makes a bit more sense over a super mushroom

I like to use the mugs for other uses like eating cereal and soup out of, I also love to use them to store pencils and stuff in them. Those mugs look really cool. ❤

13:31 Anybody else notice that when he said "Warp Pipe Mug" it matched perfectly with the pipe sound

11:57 Increrible how the bath sponge turned out to be a way better plushie than any of the others you listed LMAO

No matter how powerful bowser is there is nothing more terrifying than that child.

8:20 It really shows how enamored Polygon with the Mario products that he used the iconic low-quality Nene "yay" twice. 9:22 Kind of a shame that these ones aren't gonna appear in the Hot Wheels Unleashed game. 16:55 Imagine having a kid who became a fan because of the movie and you give this as a gift to them. The voice wouldn't throw them off that much compared to Chris' Mario voice.

These things bring back so many memories. Especially the mario slider puzzle can. I actually still own mine and had no idea they were rare. I got the white one after my grandmother gave it to me. She must've had it stored away for years.

It would have never happened to me but i can only imagine some kid wanting a GameCube all those years ago and getting a candy container instead😂

Pokémon/Zelda would be a great sequel. There’s definitely a lot of bootlegs and memorabilia of those games. Ps. I remember the 3Dees gummies. I had a whole bunch of video game tins and kinda sad that I don’t own the gamecube one.

I don't have much to say but I look forward to the Mario movie. I hope that it's just a fun movie and doesn't need to be anything deep or ground breaking just fun and enjoyable. Also my favourite Mario game is Super Mario Sunshine. :3

Besides the Shasta Marion soda The greatest Mario candy I have ever had is a brand called snerdles and it comes in a plastic question block it was these square gummi sheets that had pictures of fire flowers stars and mushrooms pixelated out of nerds type candy..it was really good

I love your general attitude in those videos it is so warm, comforting and silly it's great!

I loved seeing the sus luigi toy in the lineup! We have him on the desk at work, I love looking at his odd expression whenever I'm there

It's fascinating how Mario didn't get copyright striked everytime he screamed "YAHOO!" .

Do y'all remember when McDonald's did their own Mario Kart Happy Meals, or when Hotwheels did that Mario color themed van with the Mario logo?!

I had the fast food toy at 4:14 (I believe it was from Wendy's). It's worse than you think; the wheel itself doesn't turn and just slides left/right along that track. You have to wind up the green knob on the right, which will cause the track to scroll and loop when released.

As an Australian I can confirm that the Mario Koala (YahooBear) are very much a nusiance

Who more here is excited for the Super Mario Bros.Movie ?🍝

The shower curtain actually cool tho. Putting that on my list of wacky things to buy and put in my house. Along things like the cardboard cutout of a skyrim guard.

The fact that a child ate Bowser in the mac & cheese and the bowl and just slurped it up with his tongue is really cursed

5:46 is the prime example of a bad idea still making it past the drawing board, these are really cursed. The only times you could make replacing the Target Balls clever is either making them Blue for Sonic, or making a Kirby cover.

My favorite toy as a kid was actually that Mario ball 😂😂

Fun fact: The mario and luigi slippers at 12:17 play music! I own a pair and god is it horrifying (especially when the batteries were dying)

Those koala statues are really cool! We have something similar in my city of Elkhart where we have a bunch of elk statues around the city that have various designs painted all over them. None are cool enough to be Mario or Sailor Moon, though...

I've been waiting for this all week thank you! I was so excited when Izzyxzzz shouted you out in their cursed MLP products video we've all been waiting for this lmfao

i remember seeing the mario koala before i found out it was infamous online lol i think it was around 2017? ive only ever been to surfers paradise twice, so its either that or 2013. either way i actually took a few photos of it, they're probably still saved somewhere on my laptop. also saw the sailor moon one! i dont remember where that one was, i think it might've been near the hard rock cafe? it was outdoors, i know that for sure. the Mario one was indoors i think. you'd go up these stairs to head to the timezone and itd be standing right in the entrance. maybe if i ever get the chance to ill see if i can find the Mario koala again

Thanks for lifting my mood through tough times.

I remember having the Mario 3-Dees gummies as a younger kid. Nostalgia hits hard

I swear I remember having this Luigi plush where the mustache was taken off or something?? And he just looked really really weird lmao

It’s actually shock as to how many of these things I actually own, I’ve had the McDonald’s Happy Meal Mario ball for as long as I can remember and never known where it came from, I thank you for telling me!

2:31 Never heard of the candies before, but jut by looking at the packaging and characters it's from Mario 2, which was btw just a retexture of another game which changes the playable characters and barely anything else.

Sonic the Hedgehog and FNAF are absolute goldmines for cursed products, I hope you'll eventually do videos like this for those as well. EDIT: The Simpsons would also make a great topic for one of these videos.

I like the Lego Mario sets too. The buildable figures are really cool and look better than minifigures would. I will admit that dissected Lego Mario is rather scary.

I remember my dad got me the mario 3d gummies, and i distinctly remember wanting to play with them and not eat them. It also bothered me that diddy was blue. They were pretty good tho, ngl

5:38 “speaking of Mario’s balls” Nothing has ever triggered my fight or flight sense more